After all the horrendous things are accused of, writing shouldn’t be one of them, right? Sure, their constant craving for human flesh can be a huge buzzkill, and when gathering in vast numbers their collective groan is far from a choir of perfection.
But what they lack in basic communication, cleanliness and manners, they make up for by not writing. Why would they even attempt writing when there’s a smorgasbord of tasty human snacks to tuck into?
Setting aside the issue of human flesh addiction for a moment, I think I know why zombies don’t write.
For those of you who are worried about the impending doom of the zombie apocalypse, I have big news for you. It’s not the zombies you need to worry about, but the morons. Every day I see them massing on the streets, staring blankly at nothing at all, shuffling into on coming traffic and performing acts of such breathtaking stupidity they make zombies look like over achieving Mensa brainiacs!
And today has been no exception, dear blog reader, as I shall demonstrate.
Apologies dear blog reader, I should have warned you before hurting your eyes with such a gross photo! The hot humid weather here in the UK has left me with a disgusting dose of itchy eczema yet again. I hate my fingers in the summer. They look like I’ve stuck them in the jar marked LEPROSY! DO NOT TOUCH! Every time we get a spot of hot weather those tell-tale bubbles appear on my skin and pretty soon the itchy scratchy feeling starts.
I resist. I really do.
But the skin just pops and cracks all by itself without any help from me. I feel sick just looking at that photo. Last August I wrote about my zombie skin and how it seems to relish in hurting me - Eczema – Itchy Nightmare - and had some wonderful comments about how to ease the pain.